It is starting...

Let me start off by saying that I do not hate all trees, just this one. This behemoth lives in my back yard. Every year that I have lived in this house the tree has tormented me. The first of its little delights are what some might call flowers. They are kinda small, red and a bit sticky if you are dumb enough to try and pick them up by hand like I did the first time I saw them. The second treat this wonderful tree gives to me, are the first set of helicopters. They are soft and a lovely shade of green and also a pain to clean up. And if I do not get them all up, they start to grow in my flower beds. The third gift is hard brown helicopters. These things are mean. They are single sided and come down from the tree with a force that can draw blood. And finally as fall draws summer to a close and I start to like the tree because of the wonderful color of the leaves, as if to spite me it tosses them all to the ground. And as if that was not enough of a reason to dislike this monster, the whole time it has leaves I cannot get a decent picture on my TV due to the tree being in the direct line of site for the satellite. I have had dreams of me attacking the tree with an ax while it laughs at me. Thanks to the size and location of the tree it would cost me more than some would pay for a used car to have it taken down. So, every time we have a thunder storm I make a little prayer for the tree to be hit by lightning and fall in the next door neighbors yard, whom I like almost as much as the tree.